“Ann, tunakusubiri. Please try to hurry up. We have to leave now!” My mother shouted outside my room after knocking once at my door.
“Dakika moja mum!” I shouted back as I quickly pushed the photograph I was staring at into a novel. I opened my suitcase and dipped the novel into my clothes. Have always been doing this, trying to protect the little, if not the only secret I had.
“Don’t forget to carry your bible. one your dad bought you on your fifteenth birthday.” She added. I heard her footsteps as she walked away to the sitting room. I quickly stood up and rushed to my wardrobe. I pushed some books away and pulled out my New King James Version Bible. I slowly undusted it, kissed and took it to my suitcase. I knocked my head for having remembered to carry my novel and forget my Bible. Thank God my mum had reminded me, otherwise, dad would have never forgiven me for such a mistake. It was the kind of the mistakes he always told me about, “Hiyo ni kama matusi kwa Mungu.” His words echoed into my ears.
I hurriedly rushed to the mirror. I looked at myself for a moment. The smile on my faces faded away when it really came into my mind that life was going to change. For the next three or four months, I was going to miss my room. The room that knew all my secrets. I looked at my dress trying to make sure that nopart of my boobs was visible. I had to cover every part which would have otherwise lead someone into temptation. I had to dress decently, different from the way other girls dressed. My father was strict about this. “We have to light the lamp and put it on the table, for it to shine and others to see. Sio kuiweka chini ya meza!” He always reminded me whenever I dressed for an occasion. “I preach to people about being decent, and so my family should be an epitome. Not preaching water while we drink wine. Ufalme wa Mungu si wa hayo mambo!” he would add. So whenever I was dressing, I would make a million turns around the mirror just to make sure that I looked perfect and appealing, not just before my dad’s eyes, but also before the eyes of God. That is all a pastor’s daughter had to do always. Or was it a way of protecting me from the many hungry men out there? I didn’t care either. I was not interested in them. Maybe only one. One that only my phone and I knew about. It was a top secret just like the American intelligence information. No one new about him, not even the walls of my room. It was something that resided deep inside my heart. I did not let it out. Not even to my mum. I always prayed to God not to expose it to my dad. Not even through a vision or a dream. His photograph was the most protected thing in my room. I never wanted anyone to come across it.
My full-dress mirror convinced me that I was good to face the man of God, who also happened to be my dad. I kissed it for always being there for me and turned to pull my suitcase. It was time to leave the room and let the mosquitoes that disturb me to starve. Four months out of the room was not a short period. Anyone who could have attended a strict and spiritual high school, like I did, would confirm this. A term seemed to be a ten year sentence in Kamiti Maximum prison. Thank God my dad didn’t know I had this perception about school. Otherwise, the visible and invisible spirits would have been exorcised out of me via a not less than twenty minutes prayer. But after all, no matter how long the prayer was, my dad always finished praying with a similar ending, “Kwa hayo machache, naomba na kuamini. Amen!” It was expected of him anyway. A pastor. He had to intercede for people, for his family, for the nation, for sinners, for the sick, for those who had spirits of defiance, he had to break the chains of Satan and thank God for His endless love on us human. So my dad’s prayers were always long. He would get into deep spirit, speak in tongues and seem to see things that were hidden from ordinary people like me. At times, I would have this thought that he knew everything about me. Sometimes his preachings would hit me as though it was really meant for me. “Kile unafanya kwa siri, siku moja Mungu atakiweka wazi!” My heart would skip a beat of hearing the statement. Many questions would crisscross my head. Does my dad know about us? Has God really revealed to him? Will he ask me? I would feel confused. Occasionally, I would rush into my room immediately after service, pick my phone and text him ‘Hey, please let us just call it off. I think my dad knows about us’. It is not that I was really into this, but fear was the sole reason for my quick decisions. My dad always insisted of upholding the highest moral standards. “Kila kitu na wakati wake.” He always told me.
I knew he was very right. There were some things I was not supposed to engage into at that time of my age. But I just wished he could understand how much this guy meant to me. His texts always excited me. We used to meet for only few minutes, whenever I slipped of the compound, but the impact would last for hours. I wished I would be seeing him daily, each morning I wake up, I wished he would be the first thing my eyes to see. His voice always made my nerves react to unseen stimuli. I would lock myself into my room, dig deep into my wardrobe, in the old book, and pull out his photograph from the novel, Think Big. I would stare at the photograph with a broad smile on my face. Sometimes I could not control tears from dropping from my eyes. Tears of mixed emotion. He was the secret I protected.I never wanted us to be separated with circumstances. I loved the fact that he was part of my life. And meeting him still remained the best thing that ever happened in my life. Sweet Charming Jack.
Before I opened my bedroom door, my phone vibrated. I leaned the suitcase against the wall and pulled it out of my handbag. It was a text message from Kate, my best from high school. It happened that we were desk mates and also slept it the same dorm. She was such a nice friend and sister to me. She had mademy high school life to be simple despite of the strictness of the rules. I always prayed to God never to separate me from her. After high school, I had thought that was the end of our friendship, but I only realized that God had answered my prayers when I learnt that we were to join the same University. Our connection became more strong as we called and texted each other about the fantasies of being in campus. It was a long wait but finally, we had less than two days to join.
‘Hey dr, umeget place ya kustay? I was suggesting we can rent a room. Since both of us hatujaget hostels!’ The text read. I looked at it for a moment wondering what to reply. It was a nice idea. No! A brilliant one. I would have loved to stay with her. I would have enjoyed it. It was an idea that had once struck my mind but had not let it out. My heart started racing when I thought about this. It would really give me a chance to be meeting Jack regularly. I started fantasizing how Jack will be vising us. I would be there for him, fully with nothing to worry about. Without looking over our shoulders. I longed for this. I smiled as I texted back. ‘Nice idea dr. I’m delighted. We can…’ I quickly stopped texting when reality dawned on me. The power of making the decision was not in my hands. My dad was the sole decision maker and had already came up with a solution, changing his mind was the hardest task unless you would convince him that your idea will result to direct entry into the promised land, Heaven. I quickly erased the text as my smile faded abruptly. I changed the reply to ‘Dear, very nice idea. But let me talk to dad first then nitakushoo!’ I pressed send button as I swallowed bitter saliva. The phone vibrated again. ‘Ok dear. I hope he agree. Tell me soon!’ she replied.
Before I replied back, I heard quick footsteps coming towards my door, the followed and angry voice calling my name “Ann kwani for how long are we going to wait for you. We have to leave!” It was my mom. I quickly dropped the phone into the handbag and grabbed my suitcase. My eyes met with my mum’s frowned face when I opened the door. “Babako amejam. You have been keeping us waiting for long.” She yelled.
“Sorry mum, I nilikuwa niki….”
“Ukichat!” She interrupted me. “Twende tuombe tutoke.” She said as she grabbed the suitcase from my hands in the name of helping me. She quickly led the way.
My dad gave me a strong look as we entered the sitting room. He shook his head, his eyes fixed on me. I quickly looked at my chest. I suspected that maybe he had noticed a mistake on my dressing code. “Ann!” He called me as he stood. “Learn to listen and keep time. Unaskia?”
“Ndio dad.” I responded in a low tone.
“Ukifika kwa Nyumba ya mchungaji mambo ya kuchat, achana nayo. You are going to represent us there. Please behave. I know Reverent Ken very well. He always insist on discipline. That is where I learnt my virtues from when I was still a mare church member. Until now I am a pastor, my friend, Rev Ken has never changed. They also have a daughter and utaona vile wamemlea.Please behave very well the way we have brought you up.” He paused for a while, his eyes fixed on me, perhaps trying to make sure that the words were sinking in me. “Always remember Ephesians six verse one to three.” He added.
My dad’s words landed in my heart with a very strong effect. Not that I was feeling touched, but because the words were really trying to remind me that the idea of staying with Kate was actually a dream that will never came true. It was a reality that we were about to leave the house for Rev Ken’s home, the place that I was to stay and commute to school. It’s not that I hated the idea, but I really knew that it was equal if not worse than staying at my home, where I was always expected to remember that I was a daughter of a man of God. I had always to implement the biblical teachings in whatever I did, whatever I said, whenever I went, or whatever I dressed. It’s not that I hated this, in fact, it earned me respect. I knew it will still be heard to meet Jack. I was hoping that joining the campus will give me a chance to spend a day or two with my happiness, Jack. “This is just a dream.” I thought. But somehow I was hoping that I would at least get a little freedom when I join campus; at least to mingle with my friends without being monitored and told to asses my friends before building strong ties with them. I needed some chance to explore the world, learn the virtues and vices that these hordes of humanity engage with. I wanted to stay with Kate. I knew Kate would never have been an obstacle to meeting I was really wondering how I could convince my dad and change his ever static mind. I took a deep breath and looked at him, our eyes met.
“Dad!’ I called in a low tone.
“Yes daughter. Una kitu cha kusema?” He asked as he took some few steps towards me. I turned and looked at my mum. She was staring at me, her hands in front holding a purse. She had been silent all through.
“Mum una kitu cha kutuambia before tutoke?” She also asked. A smile cut across her beautiful face revealing her snow-white set of teeth. Her smile gave me courage. Courage to face my dad and tell him our idea. The idea of renting a house together with Kate. My mom had always been my best friend. She was like a sister to me. We talked freely and I loved how she used to crack jokes and make fun of almost everything. Even the serious things. Sometimes she would make fun of my dad’s Sunday sermon and then she would simply say, “God forgive us!”. She was also a religious woman, strongly believed in God. She always taught me how to pray. “Prayers make a person to overcome any kind of challenges. Please uwe ukiomba daily my dear mum!” She told me always.
“Yah. Nilikuwa tu na swali.” I said while swaying side by side like a week tree on a windy day.
“Ehe! Uliza tutakujibu.” Said my dad.
I did not speak immediately. My heart was pounding loudly. The saliva in my mouth was boiling. I could feel some sweat drop from my armpits. I looked at my dad then my mom. They were all curious to know the kind of question I had in mind. The smile on my mum’s face faded when our eyes met. She probably knew I was troubled. She nodded her head at me, perhaps trying to tell me “Take courage girl and speak up.”
“We don’t have all the time Ann!” I heard my dad roar. “Or is it something that we can talk while on the way?”
“Dad…” I began in a low tone. “Do you think Rev Ken’s family will be comfortable with me staying there for the whole semester?”
My dad quickly turned and looked at my mum. He then turned and looked at me. He shook his head then looked at his phone. “It is getting late. We have to go!” He said.
“But you have not answered her.” My mum finally spoke after a moment of deafening silence.
“I know I have not answered her question. Because she clearly has the answer to that question.” He said while moving towards the door. I was confused. I knew I had annoyed him. My dad had strong faith and trust in Rev Ken. He always spoke positive of him and always praised him. “Reverend Ken is a true servant of God. I always admire to deliver my sermons like him.” He always said. He never wanted anyone to speak ill of Rev Ken. To him, Rev Ken was second after God. “Let’s get going. Masaa si yetu.” He said tying to open the door.
“Baba Ann, hata sasa kuomba hatutaomba?” My mum asked while still standing. My dad pushed back the door and turned. He ignored my mum’s question and started moving towards me. From the look on his face, I could notice that he was annoyed.
“Pole dad. I didn’t mean to..”
“Yes. It was the devil in you doubting God’s plan. Acha nikujibu hilo swali lako na swali lingine. Ok?” He said as he stopped just a step from me.
“Ok dad.” I answered as I had been taught. Always address directly the person talking to you. Yes dad, Yes Mum, Yes Angle, No sir and so on.
“Who suggested that you should go and stay there? Was it me?Your mum? Who? Tuambie Ann!” He looked at my mum then at me.
“It was Rev Ken and his wife.” I answered in a low tone.
“Then? I think you now has the answer. And he has always been calling to remind us that unafaa kuishi kwake. He wants to protect you from the claws of the world. It is God’s miracle. Don’t you see that? Imagine kujoin college iko karibu na kwake, Ukakosa hostel, hata hatukuuliza. Vile nilimwambia tu umeitwa huko, wakajitolea ukae kwao. And you, instead of thanking God, you are asking whether they will be comfortable with you. Really my daughter? God want you to stay close to him.”
“Pole dad!” I responded in a low tone my eyes fixed on the floor. It was now clear to me that my dad would not even want to hear my idea. I was angry. Angry at myself for nothing. For a moment I regretted being a pastor’s daughter. I admired the other girls, the girls who lived freely, who made their own decisions even without consulting their parents, decided what to put on without being monitored. I felt cut down my spine. My mind was lost. I was wondering what to tell my best friend, Kate. I felt disappointed. I knew life will be the same. It will be hard to meet Jack, just as it has always been. I hated myself. I hated everything. “Why me?” I wondered.
I came into my senses only to realize that my dad was praying. He was holding my right hand while my mum the left one. The way they grabbed the hands I could not tell. “Mungu abiriki familia ya mtumishi wako Ken. Tazama amejitolea kuishi na mtoto wetu wakati anapoenda kuanza masomo Yake. Nakushukuru kwa ajili ya baraka hizi…” I heard my dad pray. His voice was strong especially when he was praying. It was a long prayer. Unfortunately, I could not concentrate. I only heard some parts of the prayer. “Mungu usaidie mtoto Ann adumishe mafunzo tuliomfunza na awaheshimu wazazi wake ambao umemchagulia mwenyewe. Muepushe na kasumba na aibu za dunia…” he continued. I occasionally diverted my mind to Kate’s suggestion. I was deep in thoughts, thinking of how I will tell it to my mother. I assumed she would help though she had no say. I was still wondering when I had the words, “Kwa hayo machache naomba na Kuamini” I quickly aroused myself from my reveries and shouted “Amen!” as I pulled my hands away.
“Twendeni sasa.” My dad said as he took my suitcase.Immediately, my phone vibrated. I quickly pulled it out of my handbag. It was a text message, from Caro. Seeing the text made Goosebumps fill my whole body. It read “Will I see u b4 utoke hun?” I stood there rooted on the ground like a pole. Was really wondering what to tell him. I had promised to make sure I saw him before leaving my home. I had failed him. It was Jack. That is how I had saved his contact in my phone, as Caro. It was also a way of protecting him. It was my duty to. I was confused. I did not know what to tell him nor what to do. I would not have left the house at that moment. I was not ready to answer millions of questions. Loneliness engulfed me all of a sudden. I was missing someone. I needed to see him, even if for a second. I longed for his voice, I missed his tender hand on my neck. I missed his voice, I missed his shining and piercing eyes. I wished something to carry me and drop me right in front of him. He meant a lot if not everything. I wanted to tell him goodbye, not through text, but through a word of mouth to whisper in his ears. I wanted my breath to penetrate deep inside his ears. I longed for him more than ever before. I was totally lost in the world of fantasy. I wanted Jack. Yes, I needed him.
“Have you forgotten anything mum?” I heard my mum’s voice. It was like a reverb.
“Oh, Sidhani.” I answered quickly in a confused manner.
“You seem to be so deep in thoughts, anything the matter?” She asked, her eyes fixed on me.
“Hapana mum. Was just trying to remember whether nimesahau kitu!” I answered simply.
“I hope not!”
“Yah! Nimepack kila kitu I need.” I told her.
“Ok. Let’s get going” She said leading the way out of the house.
My dad’s phone rang immediately we left the house. He pulled it from his coat. “Hata ni mchungaji.” He said with a broad smile cutting across his face. “Bwana asifiwe ndugu…Ndo tunataka kutoka tukuletee msichana wako…” My dad said as he turned and looked at me. I was smiling. I forced myself to smile back. “Yah. Anafaa kureport on Monday.” He continued. “ Ati utapitia ukimchukua? Oh that’s really great. At least on Kesho kondoo wangu hawatabaki bila Mchungaji. Godbless you much mchungaji. Tunakusubiri.” He hanged up the phone and looked at my mum.
“Change of plans. God is still working in our favour.” He said while moving towards us. “Turudi ndani tumsubiri mchungaji. He had gone for a mission somewhere ad amesema atapitia hapa personally aende na Ann. At least kesho bado nitakuwa na waumimi wangu. Let’s go inside and wait.” He added as he pulled back the suitcase.
It was a relief to both my dad and I. I was actually not excited to leave my home without seeing that one person who matters to me most. At least a chance had emerged for me to meet him. I would sneak out of the house and meet him. Jack’s home was only four blocks opposite our compound. He was the only boy close to me in the neighborhood apart from those who attended my dad’s church. His family was not religious either. His parents never attended church. I wondered which faith they believed in. But Jack was a humble and cool guy. Despite of the wealth his dad possessed, he never showed off. He always associated himself with all classes of people, low, middle and high class. He spoke less. But one thing I was certain of him, he used to take alcohol. My dad would have killed me if he knew I was associating myself with such a person. First of all, he was not religious, then the idea of drinking. Dad would never have let me get close to him. I once tried to convince him not to drink, but his response made me give up. “Were it not for people like we, Jesus would not have been sent on earth. To liberate who? Other righteous people? But so long as I don’t do anything wrong, I think there is no problem in drinking.” He told me. “But Bible inakataza. Si poa kudrink, ni sin.” I tried to convince him. Jack laughed loudly then looked into my eyes. He held me by my shoulders then whispered, “My dear, we are all sinners. No one is righteous. Si mimi nimesema. Even those people who stand on alters and preach to us, are not perfect. Forgive me, am not talking about your dad.”
“No, I have not said that either.” I told him trying to digest his words. Was he trying to shed some light in me? Or was he trying to lead me into darkness? I wondered. “After all, he don’t believe in religion. He must justify himself.” I convinced myself. I still liked him though. Since the first time I started talking to him. I don’t how but it just dawned on me that we were greeting each other, exchange a word or two. I was always excited whenever I came into him while going to the shop or market. I’d feel happy. I found myself making it a habit of going to shop near his home. I just loved running into him. I loved seeing his ever smiling face. He was energetic, well-built and relatively tall. He had a nice pair of dimples that on his cheeks. Whenever he smiled, you’d think that a crater had just formed on his cheek. We did not talk much though. I always longed for holidays. He was one of the reasons I longed for holidays while in high school. We started with greeting. Then asking each other how people are at home, small chats and so on. That’s how it all began, till the day he asked for my phone number. At first I was reluctant, but finally gave him with a strict condition; never to call me. Only text. The link became stronger with lots of goodnights and good mornings.
I really longed for campus but staying in someone’s home had really killed my morale. I was feeling down like never before. I had been bought a new phone, a laptop and new clothes but that was not a reason to make me smile. My heart was against the idea of staying with Rev Ken’s family. All I wanted was to stay with Kate. I wanted to learn new things. I had a strong feeling of yearning for something. Something I did not understand. I only believed that I’d get that thing only when I stayed with Kate. I felt like breaking loose. I really needed to act before Rev Ken arrive. “I think God has given me a chance to meet Jack” I told myself. I quickly took my phone and texted him. ‘Hey, uko? I really wonna c u like now!’ I pressed the send button then returned the phone in my handbag. Anxiously waiting for the reply. I lifted my eyes and to my surprise, they met with my mum’s. She had been staring at me all through.
“I’m in my room. Nijulishe mchungaji akija.” My dad said as he left the sitting room.
“Sawa dad!” I answeredmy eyes still in contact with my mum’s. I could not look at her for long. I pretended to be searching for something that never existed.
As I turned left, I suddenly felt a soft hand holding my shoulder. I turned back and my eyes met with my mums. She was right behind me. She looked so concerned. “Ann, mbona unakaa mnyonge? What is wrong? Unakaa ni kama una mawazo sana.” Her voice was soft and tender. As it has always been when she was in a concerned mood.
“Actually mum kuna kitu nataka unisaidie. I want you to ask dad something on my behalf!” I said in a low tone.
“Nini hiyo?”
“Ok. “ I started after taking a deep breath. I was praying deep inside my heart. My mum was the only hope I had at that moment. “I have this friend of mine called Kate…”
“I know her. Mwenye mlisomea high school same?” she interrupted.
“Yah. Huyo” I said while nodding my head. “Pia yeye ameitwa same campus na mimi. So leo amenitext na she was suggesting that..” I suddenly kept quiet when I heard some footstep behind us.
“Mama Ann. Please nifuate kwa room!” It was my dad. My mum tapped my shoulder and immediately followed my dad. I lost the courage to speak. I hurriedly rushed into my room, took out my phone to check whether Jack had replied. To my surprise, the text had not been delivered either. I tried to call him, to my disappointment, he was unreachable. I felt so disappointed. My spirit went low. Nothing seemed to be good to me. It was the worst feeling have ever had. I thought of going to his home, but that was not a perfect idea at that moment. ‘Why had he switched off his phone? Was it because I had not replied to his text? Or was he away?’ I asked myself many questions that I could not get an answer to. A thought of him made some drops of tears roll down my cheeks. I needed to tell him something, something that I had never told to any other guy. But what was I to tell him? I was really not sure what I wanted to tell him. Was it a bye? A see you again? Or we’ll meet again? I was not sure.
I quickly remembered his photo. I wanted to take a look at it but unfortunately my suitcase was in the sitting room. I was not ready to risk. I took my earphones from my handbag andconnected them to my phone. I plugged them in my ears and jumped on my bed. I lied on my back while facing the ceiling. I started the music, it was Lenny LeBlanc’s playlist and the first song was Father Knows Best. I closed my eyes and wished never to open them again and if I was to open, the first person to c to be Jack.
******************************** **************** *******************
The car suddenly started moving slowly. The driver turned and looked at my dad, he had closed his eyes while singing along the loud music that was playing in the Car. It was Lenny LeBlanc’s Carpenter’s son. He was sitting at the back of the car while I was sitting beside the driver. Darkness had started setting in. I saw the driver look at me then at my thighs. He smiled. I ignoredhim and pretended as though I had not seen him. I also closed my eyes and started singing to the tune. The music was too loud.Suddenly, I felt a strong had grip my wrist. I felt something unusual. I opened my eyes quickly to see what was really happening.. I almost collapsed when I saw a lion beside me. My mouth went wide open but no sound came out of it. Sweat started dripping drop after drop as I trembled. I was shaking vigorously. I turned and looked at the back seat, my dad was sound asleep oblivious of what was happening. I tried to scream out his name but my efforts bore no fruits. He only turned his head to take comfort. It was the driver who had turned into a lion!
The lion was staring at me its mouth wide open ready to devour me. I tried to call out my mother’s name but no one responded. The car was still moving very fast. I closed my eyes and jumped on the lion ready to fight it. I stretched one of my hands and grabbed the steering wheel. The car started meandering on the road. I was in a turmoil. I suddenly heard loud bangs on the wind screen. It continued for a while. At that moment my eyes were still closed. I did not want to see the lion devouring me. I tried to scream to no avail. The loud bang became persistent that forced me to open my eyes. I was surprised to see Jack knocking the windscreen trying to break it so that he could save me. He was shouting at the lion but I could not hear anything. I kept struggling with the lion while Jack kept trying to break the windscreen.
My dad was still sound asleep. He was unaware of the happenings. “Dad! Dad!” I tried to call out but no word came out of my mouth. The lion gripped my thighs with its jaws. Funny enough, I felt no pain. The voice came out of my mouth only when I decided to shout the name “Jesus”. The lion got scared and ran away through the car window. Immediately I saw dad holding my hand tightly while shouting at Jack. “I told you to stay away from my daughter you drunkard!” He yelled. We were out of the car. “Dad he was trying to save me from the lion!” I tried to defend Jack but my dad could not listen to me. I tried to tell him what had happened but he did not believe me. He only pulled me back to the car in which I had refused to go back. The driver was already seated in the car, busy pointing at Jack who was walking away. “Dad it was the driver who wanted to swallow me. Jack is innocent!” I cried out.
“That boy will mislead your daughter!” The driver shouted while pointing at Jack. “Please never let him come close to our daughter” He added.
“You can’t say that about my friend.” My dad shouted at me. I screamed but to no avail. A loud thud then filled the air. It was so strong that the impact made my dad and I fall on the ground. The music went silent immediately and darkness engulfed us. “Ann! Ann” I heard my mum shout.
“Ann! Ann! Open this door!” I heard my mum shout while knocking on my room’s door. She was knocking so loudly. I quickly opened my eyes and collected myself from the floor. “I’m coming mum. Sorry I had fallen asleep mum. Pole” I said as I headed to the door.
“Harakisha Reverent Amefika. “ She said as I opened the door. “Na umesweat. Kwani what were you doing.
“Nothing mum. I was only sleeping. “I answered while facing the floor.
“Ok. Enda uokote hiyo simu yako na earphones from the floorukuje sitting room.” She said while moving away.
I quickly rushed back into the room, took my towel and whipped the sweat. I looked myself in the mirror, collected my phone and earphones and quickly rushed to the sitting too.
“Oh. Ann. Bwana asifiwe my dear.” I course voice welcomed me. It was Rev Ken. A tall huge man who spoke with energy. He had long combed hair. Though he was older than my dad, he seemed looked younger. He had not really changed since the last time I had seen him. He gave me a big smile, stood up and moved towards me. “Umekuwa mkubwa kweli.” He said as he stretched his hand towards me. My hand disappeared in his wide hand as he greeted me. “Kweli neema za Mungu zajitokeza.”
“Amina.” I said as I shook his hand. He turned to my dad and said. “Mchungaji umefanya kazi kubwa. She is more like Sister Suzan now.” He said referring to my mum.
“Baraka za Mungu mchungaji.” My mum responded in her usual low tone.
My heart almost skipped a beat when the idea of the dream I had just dreamt came into my mind. It dawned on me that the driver in the dream was wearing a suit similar to Rev Ken’s. I stood rooted on the ground, my mouth wide open. I quickly took my phone and texted Kate. ‘KATE, GOOD NEWS I WE’LL BE STAYING WITH YOU.” I pressed the send button the looked at my mum. My face was pale. Fear had engulfed me
“Ann, you will be leaving with Rev Ken. My mum and I tutakuja Monday tukupeleke uwe admitted.” I heard my dad’s voice echo in my ears.
Immediately, my phone vibrated. I quickly dipped my shaking hands into my handbag and pulled it. It was Kate who had texted back. ‘Wow. I can now smile.’ Before I returned my phone back into my handbag, it vibrated again, another text message. From ‘Caro’. ‘Uko? Ushatoka pliz? I am sorry sikujua my phon was off. Pliz ka uko toka tumeet ile place yetu.’ It was Jack.
TO BE CONTINUED…
PREVIOUSLY IN EPISODE 1
“Ann, you will be leaving with Rev Ken. My mum and I tutakuja Monday tukupeleke uwe admitted.” I heard my dad’s voice echo in my ears.
Immediately, my phone vibrated. I quickly dipped my shaking hands into my handbag and pulled it. It was Kate who had texted back. ‘Wow. I can now smile.’ Before I returned my phone back into my handbag, it vibrated again, another text message. From ‘Caro’. ‘Uko? Ushatoka pliz? I am sorry sikujua my phone was off. Pliz ka uko toka tumeet ile place yetu.’ It was Jack.
EPISODE 2
My heart stopped momentarily as excitement filled every part of my body. It was a text that I had longed to receive. I had been anxiously waiting for it from the time I texted him. My heart started beating faster. Everything around became blurred, all I could see in my eyes was his sweet smile. I really needed to see him. I was longing for his voice more than anything else. For a moment, I forgot that I had a journey to go. I found myself in a world of fantasy, a world of two: Jack and Ann. I had to meet him, no matter how, no matter the cost or the risk. But how could I leave the house? That was a big challenge to me. I had to think faster. I had to come up with an excuse that will land me out of our compound, I had to ask smart.
“Mum, nataka kufika shop kiasi nibuy credo!” I said without thinking twice. My mum looked at me then at my dad.
“Mko karibu kutoka. Mchungaji ashamaliza kunywa soda n amesema ana haraka.” Mum replied.
“Sitakawia. Narush tu mbiombio then nikam.” I insisted.
“Ann!” I heard my dad call my name. He was holding his phone. “Hebu nipe namba zako. Nikusambazie credit.” He said while his eyes fixed on the phone. He did not look at me. I felt disappointed. My plan had failed again. I had no other excuse to give. If I insisted, they could have suspected me. I played cool.
“Actually dad thanks. But unfortunately si ya saf. Ni credo ya Airtel I need.” I twisted the trick.
My dad lifted his head and looked at me. He seemed surprised. I diverted my eyes away from him. I knew he had sensed something. I tried as much as possible to avoid direct eye contact with him.
“Tangu lini ukatumia Airtel?” He asked.
“Huwa natumia tu kusurf nayo. Bundles zao huwa relatively cheaper.” I answered confidently.
“My daughter argues that way too. Wajua hii ni era yao ni hao wanaelewa haya maneno vizuri” Rev Ken chipped in. I felt a bit relieved. He became a savior, at least at the moment when I needed one.
“If you insist!” My dad said while placing his phone on the table. “Kimbia na uharakishe, don’t take ages as though we have all time waiting for you.”
Before he finished the statement, I was already at the door. I was feeling relieved. Happiness engulfed me suddenly. At least I was going to meet Jack. A thought of his hug made me crazy. I smiled as I banged the door behind me. I imagined myself in his arms, pressing my chest against his broad chest. I felt some heat run from the tip of hair to the tip of my toe nail. I was excited both in heart, mind and soul.
I found myself walking along at the speed of lighting. I was focused to meet one person. Not even to buy the credit. I stopped suddenly when I remembered that I had not replied to his text. I quickly unlocked my phone and texted him. “Nakam side za kwenu. Uko where?” I smiled when my phone returned a delivery report after sending the message. I reduced my pace, just trying to kill time. I wanted to buy some time to give him time to reply my text. I walked past the first two blocks, constantly looking at my phone hoping to receive his reply. It is all I wanted; to tell me where he was at that particular time. He was the only reason I was roaming outside at that moment.
I could now see the gate to his home. I was only one block away from there. Still he had not texted back. I decided to call him. The phone rang but there was no response. My face frowned. What could be wrong with him? I wondered. I called again but still no response. Time was rushing. I knew my dad would call me in a few minutes time. At that point, the urge to see him was growing more and more in my heart. I started shaking, not really sure the reason behind it. My palms started sweating. “Come on Jack. Pick my call please.” I said as called for the third time. Still no response. “To hell, am coming to your home Jack!” I said as I walked towards Jack’s home. I was determined to see him, more than I had ever been before.
I moved at a supersonic speed, unaffected by what was happening around me. Within no time, I was in front of the gate. It was a big black gate with decorations on top. At the gate, there was beautiful flowers and nice grass. One would actually tell the kind of life that existed behind the perimeter wall that surrounded the magnificent bungalow. It was my first time to stand there. I had only been passing few blocks from that gate. I admired the bees and butterflies than moved from flower to flower. The scent that emerged from the flowers was attractive too. It was a place full of fresh air. I could hear some birds sing from the trees inside the compound. At some point, I could also hear a dog back. No sound of humanity came from the place. I felt lonely. I really needed to hear Jack’s voice. Even if it was sneezing. I needed something to assure me that Jack was around. A thought of not seeing him tormented me. I could not imagine.
I composed myself as I took one step to the gate. I closed my eyes and knocked three times. I then moved back. The dog heard the knock and started barking continuously. I stood there rooted on the ground anxiously waiting for someone to respond to my knock. A minute passed but still no response. I stepped forward towards the gate to knock again. It was at that point that my eyes landed on a small switch at the gate. I realized the mistake that I had just made. The switch had a sign of a bell. I was actually not supposed to knock. I quickly stretched my hand and pressed the switch once. I then moved back, panting like an antelope that had just escaped from the claw of a cheetah.
Few seconds letter, I heard someone touch the gate. The person then opened a small window like opening on the gate then peeped for some second. He closed the opening then opened the small gate. He came out. He was a tall guy in a white shirt with a navy blue trouser. He was having a cap on the head. Both the cap and the shirt had a logo written ‘Securex Security’. The guys looked at me for a while without speaking. He then approached me.
“Hapari yako Matam!” He said, stretching his hand to greet me.
“Nzuri” I answered in a low tone giving him my hand.
“Nikusaitieko ache?” He asked.
“Pliz naezamuona Jack?” I asked looking directly into his eyes.
“Unatakako kumuona tu, au kumuoana halafu muongeeko nay eye?” He asked while smiling. Perhaps trying to tease me. I also forced myself to smile.
“Nataka kuongea nay eye, I mean.” I tried to correct myself.
“Ehe! Ungesemako tu hifyo mapema.” He said while nodding his head. “Alikuwako unakutarachia ama nini? Kwa sapapu hachaniambiako ati kuna mkeni wake atakuchako leo. Alichua unakucha?” He asked, his eyes fixed on me.He was looking at me curiously.
“Hapana. Nimetry kumcal hapick simu but we had to meet na yeye.” I told him.
“Wah! Lakini Matam hapo ni tricky kitoko. Ati umesema hachukui simu yako?”
“Yah. Hapick. But tulikuwa tu..” I stopped immediately my phone started vibrating. It was a call. “I think ni yeye ananipigia.” I said looking at my phone. My heart almost stopped when my eyes landed on the screen. ‘Incoming Call; Dad’. “Should I pick it or not?” I wondered. “Hata si yeye. A minute pliz.” I told the security guard as I moved few steps from him. I knew I had taken more time than expected. There were two shops just opposite our home. I knew dad was mad at me. I was ready for the confrontation. I took a deep breath then received the call.
“Hallo Dad” I said in a low tone. He did not respond immediately. “Hallo Dad!” I said for the second time.
“Unanisikia Ann?” I heard him ask. The voice was very low.
“Yah. Nakusikia dad.” I responded in a low tone.
“Ushatoka dukani?” He asked.
“Yah, ndo niko njiani nakuja.”
“Kama hujafika Mbali na umebaki na ten bob, please rudi kwa duka ununulie mamako Elastoplast. Glass imepasuka ikamkata kidole akiokota pieces!”
“Sawa dad. Nakuja Nayo. I responded quickly without thinking. I felt relieved. Especially when dad said “Sawa.” And hanged upwithout telling me to hurry. I had some added time.
I went back to the guard. “Sasa umesema Jack nitamcheki au?”
“Ngocha kitoko. Ningocheeko hapo naruti sahisi.” He said while returning into the compound. He turned again “Na china yako unaitwako nani?”
“Mwambie ni Ann. Atajua.” I answered. He went back into the compound and came back after a short while.
“Matam,” He started as he opened the gate. “Naskiako ametokako lakini ataruti. Ati aliachako tenje ikichach. Iko kwa moto.” He said confidently. I felt disappointed. I knew I was not going to see him. “At least I have tried my best.” I comforted myself. “Unaisaingiako tu ndani umungooche akuche. Karipu ndani.”
“Hapana. Thanks. Acha tu nitarudi nitakam kumcheki laterz. But akikuja mwambie Ann alikuwa hapa. Nashukuru.” I told him in a disappointed tone.
“Kwa hifyo nyumbani si mbali na hapa?” He asked.
“Yah, natoka pale karibu na junction. Kwa Pastor Martin. Ka unamjua.” I immediately regretted for having told him that am from a pastor’s house.
“Oh! Yule wa ile Kanisa iko karipu na choy Acatemy?” He became interested.
“Yah. Huyu sasa. Acaha niende nitarudi.” I was trying to cut the story short.
“Hata mama wa kwangu anaendanga hiyo kanisa yenu.” He continued being wordy. “Huwa ananiambia papa yako ni pastor msuri sana. Unachuako mimi mabo ya kanisa yalinishindako kitoko.”
“Jaribu pia wewe uanze kukuja.” I tried to say as I moved away.
“Aki pia mimi nitaanzako. Kama wasichana wa hiyo kanisa ni warembo kama wewe matam. Huko nitakuchako full force.” He joked then laughed loudly. “Salimia mchungachi. Leo nitaambiako mke wangu nilikuwa na mtoto wa pastor wao.”
“Si lazima.” I shouted as I waved my hand in the air. He had started to become a nuisance.
“Naelewa Matam. Siatkusemako. Pyee.”
“Byee!” I said without turning back. I was feeling so low in spirit. I wondered my all this had to happen.
“He! Kumbe ni katoto ka mtumishi wa Mungu? Kasuri sana!” I heard him soliloquize.
As I left, I heard a motorbike behind me. It was approaching me then suddenly stopped. I did not turn either. It was none of my business.
“Ann!” I suddenly heard a voice behind me that made each nerve in my body to shake. It was the voice I had been longing to hear. The voice that always send shiver in me. It was Jack’s voice. I did not know how I turned. Tears of Joy dropped suddenly as my eyes came into a direct contact with his smile. I quickly started moving towards him as he also approached me. My happiness had rekindled. He had just arrived at the right time.
“Hey, am sorry! Najua umenical sana.“ Jack said as he pressed me against his broad chest. For once I felt complete. The feeling was awesome. His breath moistened my earlobe as he spoke. I wrapped my hands against his waits. I had never done that before. I was not in my senses either. The feeling had taken control over me. “Nilitumwa abruptly and since hukuwa umereply my text, singekutext back nikushoo. And am not supposed to call you know..” He whispered into my ears.
“But I now have you” I whispered back. “Singeimagine kuenda without seeing you Jack.” I added. I looked at the gate, the guard was watching us. When he noticed that I had seen him, he smiled, waved at me then entered the compound and closed the gate. “I will miss you Jack.” I told him, tears dropping from my eyes.
“I will miss you more A.J” He whispered.
“What did you just call me?” I asked, sounding surprised.
“Nimekucall A.J. Yaani Ann Jack. You don’t like it?” He asked as he let off me. Then held my hands.
“No. I think I love it dear.” I answered. We both smiled. We looked at each other for a while without saying a word. I felt shy and faced sideways. He let go my hand and tapped my cheek. “Shy girl!” He said.
“Jack I think nafaa Kuenda. My dad is waiting. Nafaa kutoka now!” I said while looking at him. His eyes had become red and wet. “Don’t cry Jack. Tutameet tu tena. After four months I will be back.” I tried to comfort him. My tears only reminded me that I was the one who actually needed to be comforted. We were both shedding tears.
Jack held me by the neck. I could feel the warmth in his hands. He slowly dragged my head towards him. I started shaking. My whole body became warm. I was having a strong feeling that have never felt before, it was an unusual feeling. I wished the feeling to persist forever. I was lost in a strange world. Everything seemed new to me. Even Jack himself. I did not know what we were actually doing at that place. I only realized that he was actually holding my hair. I loved the feeling. I could not resist. Being close to him meant everything. I enjoyed each time he exhaled. His breath was fresh and comforting. My heart was beating, harder than the Isukuti drums. I was having this strong urge of telling him something. Something that had never told anyone before. I wanted to whisper into his ears. But each time I tried, only breath came out of my mouth.
“My phone!” I cried out as I pushed him away. My phone was ringing. It was my mum. “Jack. Nafaa kuenda. Mum ananitafuta.” I quickly hugged him and gave him a peck, as I turned, Jack held my hand and pulled me. He dipped his right hand in his pocket and pulled out some notes. I pretended as though I had not seen anything.
“Hallo mum. Niko almost hapa kwa gate!” I quickly said after receiving the call. I did not give my mum the chance to speak. I then hanged up. My mother was cool but whenever she was annoyed, she would speak many words at the fastest rate. I was trying to avoid that.
“Chukua hizi doo zitakuhelp chuo.” He said. I looked at the money, some several thousand shilling notes. I slowly shook my head. “Thanks Jack. But sitatek. Si kwa ubaya.” I pulled my hand from him. The money reminded me one thing, I had left the house without any money, yet I had lied that I was going to buy credit. And also promised to buy my mum Elastoplast. Had my dad noticed this? Was he trying to test me? I was afraid. “Ann, pliz take tu ka gift.” He tried to insist.
“Jack, pliz nipe tu fift bob. Nilidanganya buda that naenda kubuy credo ya airtel na nikasema nitaenda na Elastoplast, only to realize sikutoka na doo.” I told him.
“Sina loose. Chukua tenga moja” He said.
“Ok. Acha tu. Acha nikule ngori mbele.”
“An, shika hii rwabe basi.” He took a two hundred note from his pocket then handed to me.
“Thank u a lot Jack.”
“You are welcome. Though umekataa my money. Najua vile nitakupe.” He said. I turned and started moving. Before I could take three steps, I heard him call me. When I stopped and turned, my eyes met with a flash from his phone’s camera. “I will remember you with this.” He shouted at me.
“I have your photo.” I shouted back as I hurried back home. I passed through the shop and bought the credit and the Elastoplast. I was smiling in each step I took. The experience I had shared with Jack was the best had ever had in my entire life. I had the reason to smile. Reason to face anything. But I was sad for I had not told him the word. The word that I had always been longing to tell him. “It’s never too late. Niatamshoo another day.” I convinced myself.
Hardly hard I stepped at the doorstep than my phone ringed. It was my mum. I quickly rushed, pushed the door and entered the house. When my mum saw me, she just hanged up the phone and gave me a nasty look. “Elastoplast?” she asked. I handed it to her as she headed to the bathroom.
“I think we should get going.” Rev Ken said as he stood.
“Ni sawa Mchungaji.” Dad said as he also gave me a nasty looktoo. I felt guilty. I knew were it not for Rev Ken, I would have gone through a long lecture. I thought they knew everything that I had done. “Ann, chukua kila kitu chako. Usisahau anything. Ok?” He told me.
“Sawa dad”. I answered.
Mum joined us. Rev Ken led the prayer before we left. We were holding hands around the table. My mum was holding my left hand while Rev Ken was holding the right one. He prayed for anything and everything. During the prayer, my mind was only thinking about the experience. I was trying to remember each encounter. I occasionally smiled. Thank God everyone had closed the eyes.
I hugged my dad and mum before entering the black Range Rover Sports that was packed in our compound. Rev Ken opened for me the front door then ushered me in. He closed the door then shook hands with my parents. He came and joined me. He also fastened his seatbelt then started the music. It was Christina Shusho’s ‘Nipe Macho’. “Uko poa?” He asked me as he looked directly into my eyes.
“Yah,” I said nodding my head. He smiled at me then ignited the car. I waved at my parents as the car left the intimacy of my home. The home I was going to miss for the next four months.
As we turned to head to the main road, I saw Jack standing in a wall. He was looking at the car, he saw me. I felt like crying when I saw him wave at me. Rev Ken saw him wave but he assumed. I took my phone and texted him. ‘I miss you already.’ It did not take long, I received his text, ‘I Miss u Too’. The weather had already changed, it started to drizzle. Within no time we were out of our home town. It was raining heaving. “Unakaa mnyonge Ann?” Rev Ken broke the silence. “Missing Someone?”“Yah. My mum.” I answered while facing away from him.
“Yah. It is a natural feeling we all experience especially when separated from ones we love.” He said simply, one hand on the steering wheel, the other on my shoulder.
TO BE CONTINUED.
I was woken up by the vibrating of my phone. I quickly pulled the blanket off my body and grabbled at it. I rubbed my eyes then looked at it. It was Mrs. Ken calling. I looked at Janet’s bed, she was not there. I could feel some morning chilly breeze penetrate through my skin. I received the call.
“Morning mum!” I heard Mrs. Ken’s soft voice.
“Morning too mum. Umeamkaje?” I responded in a low tone.
“I thank God niko fine. I just called to apologize. I won’t be there to take you to school. Tuko na emergency hapa hospitalini. We are so tied up. Dad will take you.” She apologized.
“No problem mum. I understand. Pole kwa job.”
“Ok mum. Thank you. Have a good day!”
“You too mum”
Immediately I hanged up the phone, Janet entered the room. She was in her towel. She looked at me then smiled. “Siz mbona warauka hivyo?” She asked.
“Sasa kati yangu na wewe nani amerauka sana siz? Hadi ushaoga!” I said, feeling ashamed for waking up late.
Janet and I talked as she dressed. I could feel the morning chilling wind penetrate through my skin. I watched her as she prepared to go to school. I missed the moment. I missed the day I would also be waking up on an alarm to go to school. A school where there is no uniform to put on. I smiled when I saw Janet pack her book. “Mwanafunzi kweli!” I said while making my bed. She looked at me and smiled. “Pia wewe uko almost. From next week!” She responded while smiling.
“I long for that siz!”
“Utachoka nakwambia!” She said as she collected the pens from the table.
I left the room then started cleaning the house. Janet was in the kitchen talking her breakfast. Suddenly, I heard a knock on the door. I quickly rushed and opened it. Rev Ken entered the house, a big smile on his wide face. “Morning beautiful!” He said in a low tone. His words reminded me of his texts. It sounded to me so odd for how he was referring to me. Even my own dad had never used that name on me. I felt shy if not ashamed. I forced myself to smile as I stretched my hand to greet him.
“Unakaa poa this morning!” He teased me as he shook my hand.
“That’s how daughters of God look in a blessed morning like this.” I responded trying to make the conversation spiritual.
“And that’s why I am appreciating the work of God by calling you beautiful.” He looked into my eyes and smiled. He was still holding my hand. I was feeling like pulling it from his hand but I thought that would seem as a rude reaction. I Persevered. He looked into my eyes for some time without saying a word. He dropped his face and looked at my hand then my face.
“Daughter of God indeed.” He whispered. My hand had started sweating, my heart pounding. I was not used to such fatherly treatment. My dad was a man of principles. He always acted with protocols. I can count the number of times my dad had ever hugged me. We always shook hands. I don’t know whether is being principled or just being strict. I was feeling not at peace as Rev Ken held my hand.
“You got my text last night?” He asked in a low tone. He then stretched his neck, probably trying to make sure that Janet was not somewhere close eavesdropping. I did not speak. I only nodded my head.
“Ok.” He started. “I want you to know that..” He stopped immediately and let my hand go when he heard some footsteps emerging from the kitchen. I believed he thanked the God he had gone to pray during that morning devotion. If at all he was really from the church as he claimed. He was lucky Janet was wearing some high heeled shoes that notified her approach whenever she walked. I quickly rushed to the mop and continued moping the house. “Janet don’t forget we have to get to the school early before iwe late. Ok?” He said quickly, perhaps trying to confuse Janet.
“Ok dad.” I responded in a low tone without looking at him.”
“Morning dad. How worse the Morning Devotion today!” Janet said as she approached Rev Ken.
“Morning too Janet! It was great hadi nahisi upako wa Mungu.” He said while greeting her.
“Amen dad. Thank you kwa kutuombea!” She said as she approached me.
“I hope pia nyinyi mnaomba before mtoke vitanadani. Prayer is the best weapon my dears.” He said as he walked away.
“We do. Bye dad, am off to school!” Janet said.
“Bye daughter, see you jioni. Una pesa za lunch?” He asked as he turned suddenly.
“Yes dad. But siwezikataa ukiniongeza.!” Janet said while smiling.
“Haya. Chukua hii basi.” Rev Ken said as she handed some money to Janet.
Janet took the money then thanked him. She came and hugged me then pecked my good bye. “Chai iko kitchen na bread na eggs siz!” She said as she opened the door.
I was left in the house trying to clean it. I washed the little utensils that were there then headed to the bathroom. As the cold water ran over my skin, I was busy thinking of Rev Ken’s words and actions. I was a bit scared, at the same time, I was relieved that we were left only the two of us, the best time for me to ask him what he really meant. I was determined to ask, but the way to start was the big issue. I tried to ponder on how to start but nothing came into my mind. I was so anxious to know the exact thing Rev Ken wanted to tell me.
My dad and mum called me immediately I came from taking my shower. Rev Ken was in his room. We talked for some time. My dad was normal. He never mentioned anything to do with the photo. I started doubting my mum. “Was she really trying to frighten me?” I wondered.
“You should always be a good girl! The way we have known you. Usijaribu kufwata waves za watoto wengine huko campus.” My dad advised me.
“I promise dad. I won’t let you down.” I promised.
My mum also echoed the same words. She told me how much they miss me already. She promised to be visiting me whenever she gets a chance to. “Mum how we wish tungekuwa huko na wewe leo as you report.” I heard her sound sorrowfully.
“Usijali mum, I perfectly understand. Rev Ken will take me. They are good. Am feeling at home mum!” I assured her.
“Am happy to hear that daughter. Please try kubehave vile tumekulea. Don’t late us down daughter.” She concluded.
I sat on my bed and taught of my lovely parents. I really missed them. It was only three days since I parted with them, but to me seemed like a decade. I missed my mum’s jokes. I missed her advice. I missed everything about her. I missed my dad too. I missed his voice and long prayers. I wished they were there with me. I could not control tears from flowing down my cheeks.
I was still holding my phone when it rang again. A feeling of excitement filled me immediately when I looked at the caller. I quickly shot up and locked the door. I sat on the bed and lowered my voice. A wide smile cut across my face as I heard Jacks voice vibrate inside my ear drums. “Ann, this silence is too loud!” He started. I could not help but call him back, “Jack, I miss you!” I can’t tell how the words came out of my mouth. Perhaps, I was speaking from my heart, not mind.
“I miss you more my love!” Those were the last words I can remember hearing from him. We talked for a long time but I could not tell exactly what we were talking about. I kept moving my toes on the flow, drawing some invisible maps. I enjoyed listening to his voice. He was actually telling me something, but all I was engrossed with was his sweet voice. It was the first time for me to have such a long conversation with him on phone. ‘Is it the beginning of freedom?’ I wondered.
“Thanks for calling. Love you too!” Were the last words I remembered uttering. Immediately, I heard a knock on the door. I hanged up the phone immediately and grabbed the towel. It was at the moment that I noticed I was half dressed. “A minute pliz!” I shouted as I hurriedly dressed.
My eyes met with Rev Ken’s wide smile when I opened the door. He looked at me for a while without saying a word. I was wondering whether to tell him to come in or ask him what he wanted. “You were on call?” He asked finally, looking at me suspiciously.
“Yah! Dad na mum wamenical tukaongea for long. Wamekusalmia!” I said trying to cover up the story.
“Yah. Nimesalimika. Coz ukiongea na simu I was also taking to them at the same time!” He looked at me then smiled. I felt ashamed for having lied to a man of God. “Now he will always be seeing me as a liar!” I thought.
“I was.. I..” I stammered trying to come up with a lie.
“No. Si lazima you explain my dear. I perfectly understand you.” He cut me shot. He stretched his hand and held my shoulder. For some time, he did not speak. I was ashamed to look into his eyes. I only faced the floor. I could feel his hand shake on my shoulders. I lifted my head and looked into his eyes. He was actually staring at me, looking so serious. “Have I dressed inappropriately?” I doubted myself.
“Ann!” Rev Ken called my name then let out a deep breath. He looked at himself then looked at me. He was wearing a black trouser and a white vest. He tried to speak but no words came out. I only saw his lips shake. ”Ama wacha tu. Nitakuambia baadaye!” He finally spoke. He slid his hand down my shoulder to the back that it almost landed on my waist. “Jitayarishe tutake breakfast tutoke!” He said as he turned and left.
I watched him leave. He walked slowly, occasionally turning to look at me. He smiled then shook his head. I was glued on the ground, still feeling ashamed and confused. The way Rev Ken was behaving, I doubted that he knew something about me and he was actually afraid to tell me. I closed the door and leaned on it. For few minutes, mixed feelings engulfed me. I let out a loud sigh then finished dressing.
We did not spend much time on the table. The excitement in me, plus the mixed feelings and shame had taken away my appetite. I did not finish two slices of bread. Rev Ken tried to force me to but I was feeling already full. At a point he tried to feed me. I could not help but force myself to eat. I was not used to such treatments. He threw glances at me as I cleared and cleaned the table. Within no time, we were set to leave for school.
“Bring your hands tuombe!” Rev Ken said as he grabbed my hands. He held them tightly as he prayed. It was a not a long prayer. After finishing, he did not let go my hands immediately. He still held them, his fingers moving on the upper side of my palm. I tried to pull them but I noticed that he was resisting. I looked on the flow. He knew that I was uncomfortably. He slowly let them go. “Usifikiri nimesahau. We will still talk over what I told you jana. It is between me and you!” He said as he let go my hand.
It was almost 8 am when we left the housed. We drove through the estate roads to the main road that led to town. Rev Ken talked about many things as we drove. I was perplexed that on this day, he did not play the gospel music in his car. He had a full playlist of The Greatest Blues of All Times. I was surprised by how he knew the lyrics of the many love songs. He sang along, sometimes looking at me then smile.
“Nice song, right?” He said when Enrique Iglesias’ Someone Is Me started playing. He raised the volume then turned and looked at me. “Sikiza lyrics!” He told me. I only smiled, wondering how the man of God enjoyed the love songs more that you can imagine. I shook my head slightly then faced away from him. I smiled, song kept playing and Rev Ken sang along.
When we reached at the University, the registration process had already began. There were a lot students being registered. Others were acting on their own while the lucky ones like me, had some parents, friends or guardians to assist in the process. There was a long queue to wait before I was reached. Rev Ken looked at the queue then shook his head. “Hapa kuna shida. Kutoka ni late!” He said while removing his phone from the pocket of his shirt. “But I know someone who know someone in this campus that can help!” He said while scrolling through his phone. He dialed a number then made a call. He excused himself leaving me on the queue.
Rev Ken came back some minutes later, a big smile on his wide face. He beckoned me then ordered me to give him my papers. “We won’t take long here!” He said while holding my hand. “That’s the good thing of being a man of God, Mungu hukuunganisha na watu from different professions. Nina waumini ka watatu from this institution. One of them is a senior lecturer. A doctor indeed. He is sending people to help right now!” He said as he smiled.
“Thank you for your tireless help!” I found myself uttering the words.
“You don’t need to thank me beautiful. I feel obliged to do even more than just helping you to register. You are part of me.” He said then kept quiet for some time. Silence prevailed until his phone rang. He quickly received it. “Tuko somewhere nje ya lecture hall six!” he said.
Within no time, two well-dressed men approached us. They greeted Rev Ken with the most respect. “Bwana asifiwe Mchungaji.” They greeted him. “You have never told us Janet has a sister.” One of the men said while shaking my hands.
“Janet has a lot of sisters than you can imagine. When God chose me, he made me a prolific man, just like Abraham.” Theyall laughed. They talked for a while then took my papers. There was no place I queued again. The whole process went so smoothly and fast. I completed my registration in less than half an hour, thanks to Rev Ken and his men.
“God bless you much God’s people!” He told them as the process was complete. “Take this for a soda” He said giving them some money. “Hapana Mchungaji. Hiyo nunulia msichana lunch. We have done nothing big.” They denied. Rev Ken thanked them many times, blessing them. “So msichana anakuja shule kesho?” He asked.
“Hapana. Let her come on Friday to check for the timetable. Studies will commence next week!” They said. Rev Ken spoke to them for a while then we left.
When we reached town, Rev Ken decided to drive me around the city. He showed me many places. I enjoyed the beautiful city, though it never looked as beautiful as it was during the night. The tall confusing buildings attracted me. He told me the different places, parks and name of major buildings. When lunchtime reached, he took me to a beautiful restaurant in the outskirts of the city and bought me lunch. We spend a good time talking over different topics. He would through glances at me than smile. I can’t remember how many time he told me that I had grown into a very beautiful woman. I did not like the idea of him calling me woman. I knew I was not yet there, it’s only that I was unable to tell him not to tell me that.
On the way back home, the same songs played in the car. He told me different stories. He would look into my eyes, say nothing but only smile. Sometimes I would feel uncomfortable to look directly into his eyes. When we reached the estate, it was almost five in the evening. Rev Ken held my hand as the car stopped. He looked into my eyes and said, “Ann, there is something I want to tell you. But before I tell you, I will let you know something else. But nataka iwe between us. Nataka…!” before he could finish speaking. A knock was heard on the car window. Rev Ken quickly let go my hand and turned off the music. He lowered the window.
“Dad,” I heard Janet shout as she peeped inside the car. “ Ndo mnarudi? Heri ningejua mko town niwaambie mnipitie! Hey siz!” She said while stretching her hand through the window to great me.
“ Hey too Siz!” I responded, looking rather confused. Had she seen Rev Ken holding my hand? I was afraid. “Leo umetokea mapema!”
“Yap!” She responded simply. “Si mtoke kwa gari tuingie kwa nyumba. Au mtalala hapo?” She said sarcastically. We slowly moved out of the car and headed to the house. As we climbed the stairs, no one talked to each other. I was afraid. My heart was beating very fast. “She saw it!” I thought. To be continued
Janet looked at me for a while. She did not respond. She was looked worried too. Her face had frowned and I knew she was not satisfied with my answer. She fixed her eyes on me for a while then shook her head. I tried to pretend as though everything was fine but my efforts bore no fruits. Fear could be seen across my face. I was shaking slightly. It was a cold morning but I found myself whipping some sweat from my forehead. I was really wondering where my dad had really taken the photograph. I was so afraid that I thought of postponing to go to church. I felt like the greatest sinner on the world.
