My name is Nomana Ntshakaza. I am a South African, hailing from Qunu Admin Area, Mthatha where, the world icon, Dr Nelson Mandela was born. I am a mum and a grandmother.
I loved reading from the early years of my primary education. I would read anything from the small pieces of paper used to wrap chappies to any thing I come across. Later I would write in a page whatever information I collected. My potential in writing became evident when I scored high marks from my compositions which were sometimes used as a teacher’s memo at school.
I am a born again Christian, being introduced to Christ at a tender age by my mother. I fellowship at The Methodist Church of South Africa serving as an intercessor, worshipping God through the song.
It is said if it doesn’t kill you, it makes you stronger. I wrote my first book, Life Can Change in a Moment when I was going through the survival journey of gang rape.
In August 1996 I joined nursing profession, employed and practicing as a professional nurse at a community health center in a rural environment at my hometown. Unfortunately in the early hours of the 18th December 2001 when I was rendering night duty services, I was attacked by two thugs who pretended to be patients in need of emergency help. They had their faces covered with balaclavas, holding guns with which they threatened to kill the security guard, who was an old man from the local village with no proper training and weapons except the wooden stick, my colleague and I. They were also looking for money from the health center safe, which was not there as free health services were rendered.
The bossy one put a gun on my right temple and shoved me to the labour ward. He said, “We are going to rape you all of us.” Indeed the two of them took turns in raping me under the delivery bed at gun point.
I was shocked, scared and I freezed. I could not believe what was happening to me was real. They held us hostage for about three hours, debating to kill us. I realised I was going to die, then I thought of praying seeking for God’s intervention. When words of prayer could not come out due to the extreme state of fear, the Holy Spirit reminded me of the Lords Prayer in Luke 11. Indeed I said the Lord’s prayer silently throughout the hostage period. I couldn’t not say Amen instead I started all over again I don’t know how many times until we were rescued alive by God’ grace and mercy.
In the process of coming to terms with the reality of being a gang rape victim, having learned that I was the only one who was raped, indeed Life had changed in a moment for me. I could not believe the ordeal had occurred at my workplace, in the labour ward where I, as a midwife, used to deliver pregnant women, receiving the new life on this planet and above all I was wearing full uniform with the distiguishing devices on.
The big dilemma started when I had to disclose to my colleagues that both thugs raped me. I was scared of the stigma, whether they would believe me. By God’s grace I managed to utter the words, ” They have raped me, both of them” There was a huge sigh from my colleagues and I. I thank the Holy Spirit who gave me wisdom and strength to disclose within few hours after the ordeal. That decision led me to access all kinds of relevant services and support that was crucial for my survival and healing. I received the first care from a multidisciplinary health care team from Sinawe Thuthuzela Centre in Mthatha General Hospital.
As I showed the signs and symptoms of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder few days later, I could not understand myself. I was hype talkative, very angry towards my employer for not protecting me. I lost self esteem, I felt dirty and worthless. I did not want to become a nurse again, I thought I would sell fruit as means of living. I had flashbacks, nightmares, psychogenic amnesia where I could not remember names of people, places, medical items like panado, food items like sugar. Life was difficult. I was tearful day and night. I was attending to a psychiatrist and a psychologist for more than ten years. I was put on anti depressants, admitted in a psychiatric clinic twice in persuit of healing.
As I was in the wilderness of surviving rape, I was angry with God, not understanding the reason He let such horrible thing to happen to me whilst I was a Christian. People from all walks of life visited me and amongst them were priests, ministers, friends and family members who brought a sparks of hope to me. They said what had happened had nothing to do with me per se, instead it was God’s mission. Therefore I needed to pray more and ask from Him his mission in the whole story.
I became vocal about my story as a result in March 2002 I was invited to speak publicly as a rape survivor at a Human Rights Day Commemoration, held in Mthatha. Since that day I received calls from other rape survivors who needed counselling and support.
As I was in my journey of survival I was looking for a book specically written by a rape survivor in order for me to understand my situation and to get reassurance that I would be restored to be myself again. Unfortunately I couldn’t find one instead I got other books that were touching on healing like Tough Times Never Last l, But Tough People Do by Robert Schuller, Woman though art loosed by Bishop T.D. Jakes to mention a few. Through sourcing strength from reading such books and scriptures from the bible, I became interested in writing about my journey, the book I had been looking for. With the support and advice from my family, friends and the psychologist Dr Swana S.M. I started writing Life Can Change in a Moment.
I took about nine years writing this book. It’s a memoir of my life where I have also touched on my childhood experiences growing up from humble beginnings.
Another part in the book covers my experience of being abducted (arranged child marriage) at the age of 16.
The book was published in March 2022 and I have printed more than one thousand copies so far.
The book has been launched at the following occassions:
- O.R. Tambo District Lit. Festival, Port St Johns in May 2022.
- Grahamstown International Festival, Makanda in June 2022.
- West Beach Psychiatric Clinic (where I was admitted), Cape Town in April 2023.
- O.R. Tambo District Municipality, Mthatha in December 2023.
- New Germany Libraries Author’s Expose, Durban in April 2024.
- Nyandeni Local Municipality, Ngqeleni in June 2024.
It has won the following:
- Award for Literature: English at 2024 Eastern Cape Provincial Arts, Culture and Heritage Awards in February 2024
- Best Inspirational Book Award by the African Honoree Authors’ Award 2024 in July 2024.
- The book is currently in the process of being turned into a documentary. The message in the book is a testimony that God still listens and answers our prayers.
- He is God of restoration. He is able to heal the emotional wounds from the past hurts. Psalms 147:3.
- It is a self help book for the primary and secondary victims of abuse especially rape.
Through this book I am embarking on the following activities:
Motivational and Inspirational talks in the events at churches, government departments, municipalities, schools, local and national radio stations, television stations.
I am serving on various forums namely:
- Judicial Inspectorate of Correctional Services
as a stakeholder “Who cares of the victims” - Mental Health Forum as a patient and family advocate
I have established a support group for survivors of sexual assault and other forms of abuse, where I’m mentoring and encouraging them to write about their stories.
