A parent can be biological, spiritual, stepparent, adopted, surrogate, or foster parent. All those are types of parenthood. We all have one Big parent who is God for all those who are born again hence we pray Our Father who is in heaven. Mathew 6: 9 ‘After this manner therefore pray ye: Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name’.
Biological parents are mostly wife and husband belonging to one-unit nuclear family, and even if there is only one parent by the time the child comes (because sometimes it happens) the mother is the parent in that case. In that case then the mother is a single parent or in case a spouse is lost the same applies. A stepparent is the parent who marries the parent of an existing child already.
A surrogate parent only carries the baby to term for either couple who for one reason or another do not have a capability to carry the baby in their body. The adopting parent is the ones we call parents by virtue of accepting to take responsibility of bringing up a child and taking care of the child permanently as one’s own. God bless all those who step in and stand with children from young age to maturity even when they have not sired them. It is my dream at some point in life that I will also adopt a child. I have stood with people who are supporting children who are not their own biologically and if they manage God willing, I will manage too. Some get support from different people and bodies that are ready to help and so I have seen it is doable. The Bible says Proverbs 11:25 The generous soul will be made rich, and he who waters will also be watered himself. God somehow makes a way even where there is no way.
Spiritual parent is the person who ushers another person to Christianity, who helps in introducing salvation to someone who has never given their life to Christ before. The spiritual parent is the person who brings one to Christ. Someone said it is an error to assume that you had any life before your encountered Christ. He asked which life? Well, I agree to some extent because even if you had all wealth, silver, gold, money, diamonds, fame, just name it; it will never compare with going back to Our Father through Christ. The Bible says and asks at the same time, Mathew 16: 25For whoever wants to save his life will loose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. 26 What will it profit a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul? Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul? 27For the Son of Man will come in His Father’s glory with His angels, and then He will repay each one according to what he has done.…” a spiritual parent may enter one’s life at a later age unlike other types of parenting, but he/he still has a role to play in the new believer’s life and so they ought to be respected too. They maybe even younger biologically but that does not mean they are inferior in anyway. Just like other parenthood they disciple, guide, nature, counsel and teach.
Below are scriptures in reference to parenthood.
Ephesians 6:1Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2“Honor your father and mother,” which is the first commandment with promise: 3“that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth.”
4And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.
Verse one directly refers to spiritual parent. I also want to believe when you obey your spiritual parent you are aligning with God’s way of doing things. Our God is a God of order. There is no confusion in Him whatsoever.
I wish to emphasize though the parent too has a role to play in the relationship hence not only children. Verse four warns parents against provoking their children. That means there is a balance to be applied. If one only expects to be obeyed and honored as a parent, they should guard against being provocative or ruling with an iron fist because it does not apply to family. So fellow parents we ought to tread with care so that we are not careless with our responsibilities and cause chaos. I have witnessed firsthand rebellion because parents do not allow for dialogue or give room to their children to express themselves. That in turn causes children to feel unworthy and not understood.
I have spoken in many schools and colleges, and they say it is hard for them when their parent can’t hear them out even for once and some say they did what they did wrong because they were looking for attention from either their parent or their superior. They say they too have a brain of their own and can plan their way forward or be involved. Some say their parents treat them like puppets. Since they are forming their individual personalities, it is good to let them make some decisions for their life. Let them make their mistakes and learn from them too. Much as parents want their children to be successful; they should always put in mind that it is their life, and the parents cannot live it for them.
From my own experience, so many times my children have shown me a different view of things in either their own issues or family issues and believe it or not their idea was many times better than what I had in mind. That is the time you should allow them to know that their opinion matters too, especially in things concerning them or family decisions. They are the parents of tomorrow and so they should start building confidence in affairs affecting them. Allowing them some space is also important especially when they feel down and would want to think straight. It is best to use democratic approaches in most affairs at this age because it affirms their confidence and allows them to be actively involved and focused to find solutions. Here are a few scriptures about parents and their children:
Proverbs 22:6 KJV: Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. Isaiah 38:19 KJV: …the father to the children shall make known thy truth (Way to live). Isaiah 54:13 KJV: And all thy children shall be taught of the Lord; and great shall be the peace of thy children.
A foster parent assumes responsibilities for just a while. Their function is just temporary but that does not mean they are not important. Sometimes they are standing in the gap of the real parent and in the process, they also have their output to the child. Without which the child or children can suffer. It is the duty of every parent regardless of the capacity to teach, correct, guide, and model for the young ones to grow to be responsible adults. Teaching and modeling the Word of God is of great importance in the life of the children and it is good to start when they are at a tender age. There is a saying which goes “Charity begins at home” This in short is to encourage your children whether biological or otherwise to be charitable. It is important to teach them to be kind, generous, honest, cooperative, understanding, not selfish, and this is also the time to introduce them to prayer and the Word of God. King Solomon the wisest man who ever lived wrote the scripture in Proverbs 3: 1My son, do not forget my law, But let your heart keep my commands; 2For length of days and long life And peace they will add to you. 3Let not mercy and truth forsake you; Bind them around your neck, Write them on the tablet of your heart, 4And so find favor and high esteem In the sight of God and man. 5Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; 6In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.
There is danger in forgetting to listen and encourage your children. They too have their problems, fears, uncertainties, and doubts. Allow them to express themselves and be vulnerable with you. At least let them know that there is room for discussing their issue without fearing to be judged. You can let them know that you identify with their feelings of fear, anxiety because you also have had your moments of feeling low but you overcame. Inspire them that there is nothing to hard for them when they include God in their equation. Stand with them, pray with them, generally walk with them only do not encourage them to live in fear and all other negative feelings.
It is also good to accept that they are human but also tell them even the heroes they admire including you as their parent, have had to overcome fear, anxiety, uncertainties, and doubts. You can use examples of people you both know and their stories or even people you know even they do not know them. Always encourage them not to be so competitive and that they are unique and not photocopies of anybody. Let them know they have unique qualities which no one else has in the world even if they are twins. Psalms 139:14 I will praise You, for [g]I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, and that my soul knows very well. Encourage the children that they are valuable to God regardless of our background.
Of course, loving our children is a key, pivotal role always and not only loving them but telling them and showing them love. Whether they wrong you or do mistakes it is always time to love them again after correction. We all have wronged God at some point in our life, but He forgave us and still loves; so who are we not to forgive and continue loving? Parenthood is a noble job let us do it willingly and thankfully Psalms 115: 14 May the Lord give you increase more and more, you and your children.
15 May you be blessed of the Lord, Who made heaven and earth!
16 The heavens are the Lord’s heavens, but the earth has He given to the children of men.
The song by Elevation Church below blesses my heart, and I am sure it will bless yours as well.
You can listen to it on YouTube.
Lyrics
The Lord bless you
And keep you
Make His face shine upon you
And be gracious to you
The Lord turn His
Face toward you
And give you peace
Amen, amen, amen
Amen, amen, amen
The Lord bless you
And keep you
Make His face shine upon you
And be gracious to you
The Lord turn His
Face toward you
And give you peace
Amen, amen, amen
Amen, amen, amen
May His favor be upon you
And a thousand generations
And Your family and your children
And their children, and their children
May His favor be upon you
And a thousand generations
And your family and your children
And their children, and their children
May His presence go before you
And behind you, and beside you
All around you, and within you
He is with you, He is with you
In the morning, in the evening
In your coming, and your going
In your weeping, and rejoicing
He is for you, He is for you
He is for you, He is for you
He is for you, He is for you
He is for you, He is for you
Amen, amen, amen
Amen, amen, amen
May His presence go before you
And behind you, and beside you
All around you, and within you
