I am a wife to Gilbert Gachutha for 31 years and they have two children Kenna Wanjiku Gachutha, a 26 year old banker and Bachelors of Commerce Graduate and Keega Gakuua 26 years, a law graduate from Strathmore and finalist of Kenya School of Law.
I wrote my first book in the year 2009 entitled, “Management of Counsellor Burnout: Handbook for Supervisors.” The content of this book was drawn from my Doctorate thesis, which answered a nagging question that i had, on why trained counselling psychologists behaved unprofessionally and unethically. I investigated on the condition of Counsellor Burnout and proposed a cure through Counsellor Supervision, which combined both the preventative and curative elements. Chapter Five of my thesis presents my own Burnout Model, titled Holistic Burnout Model (HBSM) developed from the analysis of the circumstances and experiences of the Kenyan counselling practitioners thus making the book particularly relevant in the African context.
In the year 2016, i wrote my second book, “Effective Parenting: Parenting in the 21st Century” which was published by Evangel publishers and in 2018 reprinted by Neno Publishers. This book aims at challenging parents to think about the “brands” of children they want and educate them in ways of achieving their goal through effective parenting. The clarion call adopted for this is, “What shall it profit a parent to advance in his/her career, and make lots of money but lose his/her own children through irresponsible parenting?”
As a parent, teacher and therapist, I am familiar with challenges that the children face in the current world. I have listened to all manner of hallowing stories from children regarding their experiences under their parents. Every child desires an understanding, accepting, devoted and well-informed parent who responds appropriately to his or her needs.
These days, there are all sorts of things that contribute to breaking the hearts of children. As a result, children become rebellious, reckless, truant, violent and in some cases avail themselves for radicalization, thus involving themselves in terrorism, sex trade and drug trafficking. Yet children behave like this because they do not know better. The upshot are these familiar but difficult questions: What went wrong so far as parenting is concerned? Are parents up to the task of guiding today’s children or are there gaps that need to be addressed? Are the parents available to nurture and protect their children or are they too busy?
On 5 th October, 2015, there was shock and dismay in Eldoret town when over 500 children were arrested for consumption of drugs and alcohol and being involved in sexual orgies in a basement club. Likewise on 7th August 2015, there was anger and shock across the country after 45 high school students were arrested for smoking bhang, drinking and having sex in a moving bus. The bus had inscriptions such as: “Babie while you were away…..I became a millionaire” and “Why go to high school when you can’t go to school high?” It was the ultimate wild pool party on wheels and the nightmare of every parent with teens in the house.
When a child is faced with any developmental and behavioral difficulties in any aspect of his/her life, the informed parent responds systematically, using measurable strategies. That is why every prospective parent should consider going through an effective parenting class before embarking on this awesome, yet important, business of parenting. This would build in them capacity for quality and informed parenting and thus position them for any parenting challenges that may arise.
This book addresses itself to the basics of parenting and will be followed by Effective Parenting Basics Workbook that will feature exercises and assessment tools. Facilitators of teams studying the workbook will themselves have undertaken successfully a course on effective parenting and done a Trainer of Trainers course to qualify them to teach. The course will be conducted in schools, churches and in other religious facilities. It is planned that over time the insights in this book will reach all parents, house-helps, guardians, teachers, educators, pastors, social workers, medics, caregivers, psychologists and counselors for the welfare of all children.
Drew from our Parenting
In writing the book I also drew a lot from our parenting. We started off parenting with lots of enthusiasm; after all God had graciously given us children. Parenting Kenna and Keega when they were little was enjoyable and easy going. Then came the middle childhood and they had emotional, health, social, academic and discipline issues that we needed to respond to. Adolescent stage was most chaotic and there are many times we thought we had lost it. Parenting with Gilbert has been both joyous and painful since our parenting styles are different; he is a strict disciplinarian and I am more permissive. There are many times l felt he was too authoritarian. Now, l appreciate that our differences are a treasure that balances extremities in our parenting.
