If after studying God’s word and praying you still don’t get a solution to your unique situation, then seek advice. God often speaks to us through other Christians. You will often be tempted to go it your way without consulting anybody-don’t bow to the temptation. We must be humble enough to seek the advice of others especially our church leaders or godly people that are older than us. There is safety in counseling. King Solomon in Proverbs had this to say about counselling:
” For lack of guidance a nation falls, but many advisers make victory sure “(Prov. 11:14 NIV). and “…in multitude of counselors there is safety” (Prov. 24:6, RSV).
These scriptures underscore the importance of seeking advice. It keeps a nation from falling, making victory sure and providing safety. You certainly need victory, safety and protection from falling, don’t you? Seek advice.
God has provided you with mature Christians, friends, elders and pastors that can help you decide. Since life has many things that recur, it might be worth your time talking to someone else about your decision. Sometimes, by sharing with you some unfamiliar parts of scriptures they may help you see things you may have otherwise not considered.
An older person has more experience and may be able to see things you have not considered or you are overlooking. Seek someone that can be able to pray and share about your situation.
There are some principles about seeking advice that you need to be aware of.
- First make sure your counsellor is born again. If he is not, he will give you ungodly advice. Choose a person whose life demonstrates maturity-patient, kind, not selfish, humble and a man or woman of peace (Gal. 5:22).
- Where the decision is heavy get an older person to counsel you. For example, don’t ask counsel from your agemates when you want to choose a marriage partner. He/she may have interests in your prospects!
- Get someone with a clearly demonstrated knowledge of God’s word and an exemplary life of obedience to God. Remember, one can only lead you the road he has walked. Taking experience to be a teacher, then let your counsellor be one who has been through life faithfully. For example, a student will offer you very little help on how to succeed in a business, a Christian business man will be more useful. Similarly, an unmarried man would give you very little useful help on dealing with your marital struggles while a married man may on the other hand be very helpful because he might have gone through the same struggles himself.
- Don’t let your counsellors make decisions for you. I had the pleasure of being counseled by one of my brothers-in-law who is much older than I and an experienced man of God. After a lot of useful talk persuading me to defer a certain decision, he told me: “I want you to know that my role is that of an adviser. The final decision must be yours, because you are the one to face the consequences of whatever decision you make.” That statement still means a lot to me, so be open to counsel from your advisers but don’t let them rule you. Consider their advice, prayerfully and humbly and test it by the scriptures.
- Finally, be careful to detect bad advisers. King Rehoboam, Solomon’s son and successor got himself in a mess by following the advice of bad advisers (1Kings 12).
When the people came to him on his coronation day they made a humble request,
“Your Father Put a heavy yoke on us, but now lighten the harsh labour and the heavy yoke he put on us, and we will serve you“.
He did a very wise thing. He sent the people away for three days so that he could seek an answer for them. Then he consulted with the old men who ruled with his father.
“How would your advice me to answer these people” he asked. The old men told him to listen to the people and grant their request. They said, “If today you will be a servant to these people and serve them and give them a favorable answer, they will always be your servants”.
He further sought the advice of his agemates who told him to be tough not a weak old man or a boy! They said,
“Tell them, “My little finger is thicker than my father’s waist. My father laid on you a heavy yoke; I will make it even heavier. My father scourged with whips; I will scourge you with scorpions.”
Rehoboam refused the good counsel of old, wise men and went for the advice of his agemates. The results were tragic. He lost his people and his power. He lost ten out of the twelve (12) tribes.
There are many people today who are in trouble just because they have followed Rehoboam’s method, they have refused to heed the advice of people that know what should be done. Do not be one of them!
Watch out and choose your advisers well.
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